


Love Thy Roommate Brother

by Cose8800, Teek (Cose8800)



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Misunderstandings, Requited Unrequited Love, Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:27:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29944461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cose8800/pseuds/Cose8800, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cose8800/pseuds/Teek
Summary: Albert discovers he's bisexual through his freak-out that he might suddenly have a crush on Buck.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Albert Han, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Howie "Chimney" Han & Albert Han (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 33
Kudos: 262





	1. Bisexual Awakening For Two

The young man took out his phone to check the time with a hope that it’d be past midnight already but no. Albert sighed as the screen showed him it was still just nine o’clock on Friday night. With the pandemic situation had gotten a bit better in L.A. the town and his mood slowly went back to where this was too early to come back, especially after one did promise one’s roommate that he would be out almost all night and said roommate murmured that there might be a date occurred at the apartment then. Albert felt slightly guilty that for a moment before reaching the door, he hoped Buck’s date ended earlier so he wouldn’t be interrupting.

He carefully opened the door and slid inside, feeling relieved that the apartment was dark which meant Buck and his date or just Buck might be out.

But then, Albert heard the noises. He froze right where he stood, in front of the stairs, and couldn’t help but looked up through dimmed light from the bathroom above to detect movement above there. To be honest it was more like because he heard the noises so he pictured the movement along with them. Two people in bed surrounded by darkness and –

Panting noises registered to Albert’s hearing system.

“ _Next time – we really need to turn on the light –_ ”

That was definitely a man’s voice.

And it wasn’t Buck’s.

“ _I bet you look even cuter right now._ ”

“ _I’m – not cute – fuck – Len – a –_ _Ah!_ ”

There, that Buck’s noise he knew. Not as dark and low like the other guy’s but still kind of sexy – _what the fuck_.

Albert, at that very moment, discovered how to teleport. Its purpose was solely to get him out of here.

-

“Hi.”

Albert’s heart almost summersaulted itself out of his chest.

There at the kitchen island in the morning of what was supposed to be lazy Saturday, at least for him because it was Buck’s turn to wash the dishes and go take their laundry from the laundry room downstairs. An entire night of sleep after he came back inside again at midnight drove half of the memories last night away. However, the one ‘Hi’ by unfamiliar voice startled Albert and brought it all back in one punch as he turned to greet a man, a gorgeous man with perfect cheekbones, perfect stubble, perfect veins under perfect skin on his arm. _Holy fuck._

“Albert, right? Evan told me about you. He went downstairs to get the laundry.”

“Yes. Um… and you?”

The man chuckled, “I’m Len. I’m Buck’s friend.” _With benefits,_ added by Albert stupid inner thoughts. _Tons of benefits_ if the moaning he caught last night before splinting out could indicate something.

Universe deemed him thinking about his roommate, his brother’s soon brother-in-law, his friend whom he had seen as this big, sometimes unbelievably bossy when in kitchen, but still nice plus occasionally awkward, and the sexual activity between these two, was not bad enough so Buck had to come back to the apartment that moment.

“Oh, hey, didn’t hear you came in last night,” greeted Buck. “I saved your cake. Check the fridge.”

Buck seemed normal, totally unaware that Albert came back early and heard too many things. The tall man walked to sit next to their…guest. “So, this is Len.”

“Yeah, we talked.” Albert shifted on his feet.

“Alright, I need to go. My shift starts in an hour.” Len got up, preparing to leave.

By preparing, it was him grabbing his own wallet, mask, and phone then kissed Buck’s right on the birthmark then proceeded to the door.

And the face that was the receiving end of that soft kiss blushed. Buck didn’t smile or anything, only stared after his date, friend, sexual partner. He then moved that longing gaze to Albert and turned into this sharp and authoritative chef’s gaze instead with finger pointing. “Not a word to Chimney or Maddie.”

“Got it,” squeaked Albert.

He so not got it.

-

“Is Buck hot?” he asked his brother.

Chimney looked at him like he had grown the second head or if he was dehydrated. They were having a lunch outside in an open air and sunny light with quite a heat from the street anyway. “I feel like I should ask what prompted this question first.”

“It’s nothing. I’m just…is Buck attractive to you?”

The older Han slowly put down his hamburger, seeing this might take longer than just one answer. “You don’t have problem finding people hot before so what’s happening here?”

“I’m – wondering.”

Chimney frowned, studying Albert. He answered eventually after what Albert felt like a suspenseful minute. “Girls find him hot. From what I heard, plenty of guys agreed.”

“Agreed that girls find him hot or agreed that they think he’s hot too.”

“You know Hen’s not the only gay firefighter at the station, right?”

Albert so did not. “Really?”

“Seriously if you try to get him into three or foursome, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.” Chimney took the chance to declare the line.

“It’s not like that!” Albert had to control himself not to yell.

Chimney frowned even more. “Then what’s it? Is he stealing your girlfriend or something?”

“No,” groaned the little brother.

This was quite an unsettling sight for Chimney since Albert had always been the honest to the point of being unaffected by anything. Rarely confused, rarely torn or at a loss of words. He never saw the guy not knowing what to say. “Albert, what’s happening here, man?

“ _I think Buck’s sexy._ ”

“Can you repeat that but to me not your imaginary ant friend?”

“I THINK BUCK’S SEXY”

Chimney blinked.

“I don’t know what happened. His date is so hot it’s scary then I see them together and they look even hotter and sexier! Especially Buck! 씨발 Chimney! Before yesterday, I think I know, like, okay some lady would totally hit that, if you’re into a white bread with legs. He’s good looking. He’s a big strong firefighter and he’s a good friend. Maybe he overthinks sometimes but I know he’s great. He let me stay with him. He’s your friend. Now he’s hot. He’s handsome. He’s sexy.”

“Goodbye my appetizer. Hope you return before my sanity follows you.” Chimney leans into the chair. “God damn it, Albert. He’s my girlfriend’s brother. He’s as good as another of my little brother himself.”

“ _I KNOW_.” Albert screamed in whispers because a waitress started eyeing them. “What’s happening?”

“I don’t know. You realize you have a crush on him or something? I didn’t know you even swing both ways.”

“NEITHER DO I CHIMNEY”

“Is this because he showed you kindness when I was being a dick to you and you were all alone in foreign country?”

“Bro, I don’t wanna be in that kind of rom-com.”

Chimney dragged a hand across his now tired face. “I’m so not the sage you look for to have this conversation. Let’s call Bobby.”

“Does he find Buck sexy too?”  
  


Chimney chucked the hamburger at Albert.

-

Comparing to Bobby or Hen, they didn’t come to see Michael a lot but Chimney could tell the guy hadn’t laughed this hard in many months. “I’d find it funny too if this didn’t involve my little brother wanting to bang my other little brother.”

“I don’t’ want to bang Buck!” screamed Albert then followed by an uncertain “do I?”

“Jesus.” Chimney looked up at the ceiling. Bobby patted his back understandingly.

“Okay, calm down, you two.” Michael finally got a hold of himself while Bobby still looked unsure if he should be here or go to find anything to do in the kitchen. “I’m going to assume this has nothing to do with aesthetics philosophy and more to do with you finding another man attractive.”

“How does this become a problem now? You told more than one time that Eddie’s hot and you never had a freak out like this.” Chimney turned to Albert.

“I don’t know. Eddie’s handsome, yes. I could tell that Buck’s handsome too and I never felt like this before.”

Michael chuckled a little more. “There are a lot of differences between thinking someone’s gorgeous and being attracted to them. You don’t feel attracted to every woman you find beautiful, right?”

Chimney tiled his head before nodding in agreement. Michael then turned to Albert, like it was the younger man’s turn. “Have you ever considered that you’re not straight?”

“Um, no?”

“Even now?” asked Michael. “Because there are also differences between acknowledging that someone’s attractive and letting yourself feel the attraction you have toward them. I have been there.”

“Oh.”

“Yes, oh.”

“ _Oh_.”

That was how Chimney witnessed his half-brother’s bisexual awakening.

-

“Howard.”

“What?”

“How will my mother and father react if I tell them?”

For the first time in a while, he put his arm around Albert. “I have no idea but however it goes, whenever that happens, I’m right here.”

-

“Okay, but you have been his roommate for quite a while so what suddenly give you a bisexual awakening through Buck?” asked Hen, on their next day off, after Chimney told her everything.

Albert ran to the other side of the park.

-

He didn’t see this Len guy again though. Just Buck spending free time alone inside his own home or having his best friend’s kid to babysit. Albert had no idea why but since he had learned from Michael to Hen that he was allowed to pay more attention to a person of same sex, whether out of attraction or just because it was there to notice, he saw more. He saw that Buck was sad; at least when the blonde thought no one was looking. It was not the same thing as when Buck jokingly complained about being single so he asked Albert for suggestions on dating applications.

So Albert went back to be his too-blunt-to-read-the-room self and ask one day while Buck was surfing the internet and had already finished more than one can of their old beer: “Hey, I don’t see Len for a while.”

Buck looked up from the laptop for a moment. “Right, yeah, I haven’t seen him for a while either.”

“Sorry, I thought…”

“Nah,” Buck waved off, dismissive. Everyone said the same, that Buck was way less energetic when he got a bit drunk but not too drunk. Cooler head, Albert guessed. “It’s never meant to be serious. I just – asked him stuffs so he – showed me.”

“Stuffs?”

“I’m bisexual, Albert.”

Albert could tell whatever on screen, it was not that interesting. Buck was just avoiding looking at him.

“I just realized it a month ago and…I met Len at a bar. He’s a firefighter too. He’s older and more experienced so he taught me, you know, how to have sex with a guy. He warned me about everything and when we talked about his first time with a man it led to me getting scared for my first time with a man as well so Len just…made sure it’s good.”

Buck’s face was now red but it was his expression that suddenly made him look a lot younger.

“Have you told Maddie?”

The blonde shook his head. “I don’t want anyone at 118 to know yet.”

“Why?” blurted Albert.

Buck carded his slightly trembling fingers through his now a bit messy hair. “It’s not important,” he sighed in a somewhat defeat. “It doesn’t matter anyway.”

“Doesn’t it matter on its own?”

“What?”

“What?”

And somehow that made Buck snort. “You seem to be acting weird lately. Is everything alright? You know if you miss Veronica…”

“No, that’s not it at all.” Albert hurriedly interrupted before one of them reached there. “It’s that after Len, you mentioned you deleted all dating app. It’s been a month. I don’t see you dating anymore but you seem unhappy. I wonder if it has to do with this bisexual thing.”

“No, Len walked me through first level of internalized biphobia,” he laughed to himself but it sounded like a sadness breath. “This is wallowing in self-pity because I think I know what I want, but I don’t know what I really need. I used to think I want my ex-girlfriend, then I let go of her. I used to think I only want the love my parents failed to show, then I let go of that too. I think whatever I have with 118 and Maddie is enough.”

Albert silently got up from the couch and walked to sit on the stool next to Buck, listening to the other man talked while those blue eyes focused somewhere far away from this room. There were two empty cans of beer on the floor.

“Then I keep seeing how I’m not enough for any of them. Not in lacking sense, but in being insignificant. I’m just – a fragment at the rim of their big pictures. So no, it’s not the bisexual thing. The bisexual thing is about me knowing there’s something wrong with myself but it’s not my sexuality.” Buck closed the laptop. He fully faced Albert. “I found out I’ve been in love with someone I know. For a while I thought maybe I’m this sad because he doesn’t love me in the same way.”

Albert picked up the cans. “But it’s still not that?”

The tight smile on Buck’s red face said as much as another shake of his head. “I realized it means nothing. My ex-girlfriend loved me. She really loved me back then just like how I loved her. She left anyway. Even if this guy loved me like that, he’d lose it eventually just like her. I’m not like Bobby, Athena, Hen, Chimney, Maddie. I’m nothing like Eddie. I’m so far from being anywhere close to Ana. I look at these people and see how I’m nothing comparing to how brilliant they are. I did that to myself. I let myself be this needy and arrogant since I was so young just to gain a temporary attention. I constantly doubt love others have for me and it tires everyone out, yet, I never stop. I can’t stop.” As he went on, Buck’s upper part gradually plopped down on the island’s surface until his head rested on his arm. “I deserve to feel like this. It’s worth it. Look what I have if I don’t bother them. If I’m not exhausting.”

Apparently he was way drunker than Albert expected when started this conversation. “Buck?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m bisexual too.”

Buck smile loosened. Now he looked really drunk. “Man, congrats.”

“Um, Buck?”

“Hm?” hummed Buck. Those lonely eyes closed.

“Who’s Ana?”

This time, Buck laughed until he fell off the stool. He laughed and laughed and he slept right there on the floor. In the end, Albert climbed the stairs to get all the pillows and blanket down for the sleeping blonde.


	2. Next Realization

He found out who was Anna a week later when the station held up a charity event. Chimney dragged him there because Bobby needed as many help as he could around the kitchen and the Han brothers kind of owed him for putting the man through a session where he needed to hear Albert freaking out about how he might want to bang Bobby’s pseudo son.

Her name rang in Eddie’s voice first. “Ana, you came.” So Albert automatically turned to check and saw a beautiful woman, no masks could hide her beauty, talking to Eddie and ruffling Christopher’s hair as the little boy hugged her waist.

“Hey, Albert, this is Ana.”

“Oh, were you the new guy who, you know, the q-word?” Her voice was so sweet and small. It reminded Albert of one of his classmate back in Korea. They seemed similar to each other as well, the kind type with composed self, not kind with loud and all the sputtering like his half-brother or kind with cool authority like Sergeant Grant.

“Huh?”

“No. That was Anirudh there.” Eddie gestured to a young fireman at Buck’s table. “Albert’s Chim’s brother.”

Ana giggled. “Sorry, you only told me he was a probie and Albert looked really young.”

“I’m young.” Albert nodded. “Chimney’s –”

“Finish that sentence and I’m gonna sign you up for the auction.” His brother popped up behind him.

“What auction?” asked Ana.

“Firefighters,” explained Eddie. “This charity is for local shops that got burned down two weeks ago. Chief came up with this idea. He contacted all the big name franchises around here. We put some of our firefighters on the auction. You bid. You get a firefighter to help around for two days, pose in your advertisement, or even stand at the cashier. The money goes to fixing those shops.”

“And they agreed?” Albert and Ana looked around, noticing some people in familiar uniforms like 7-11 or Starbucks.

“Since Covid-19 and BLM movement last year, big companies lost popularity with the locals in shocking rate,” they turned around to see Buck. “So, Bobby and Chief are sure they’ll do anything to appear community friendly.”

“Buck!” squealed Christopher as the kid leaped to hug him. Buck hugged him back with one arm as the other hand still had to carry a tray of cookies. “Will you be in the auction?”

“Nah, I’m sitting this one out. Hey, do you want to go check the painting booth with me?”

Eddie nodded as soon as Chris turned to him. “Go.”

The three watched as those two took off together with a ‘Yayyy’. Eddie shouted after them “Put your tray down first!” when he saw Buck hoisted Chris up to his waist. He huffed, but fondly, Albert might add.

“That guy is purely a giant five years old, I swear,” commented Chimney.

“They’re adorable.” Ana squeezed Eddie’s arm. “I’m surprised Buck’s not joining the auction. He looks like a poster boy of a friendly fireman.”

“Or an excited puppy, that’s even better.”

-

Turned out many agreed with Chimney. As the charity went on, approaching to the main event, Albert heard more just once or twice of people, as politely as they could, nagging Bobby about when would Buck be on the auction and nagged the Captain even more when he told them the blonde fireman didn’t participate in the auction. “Please, my manager really wants me to bid for him. He’s gone on national news.”

“I understand but Fireman Buckley didn’t sign up for the auction and no one can force him.” That sounded more like a warning than an explanation but Albert might be imagine things.

“Buck is famous?” Albert asked when Bobby was done with those people.

“He was crushed by a fire truck almost two years ago,” Bobby grimaced. “Civilians rushed to help us lift the truck and save him.”

“Oh – Whoa, yes, it was on international news back in Korea too.” He remembered seeing that news but had no idea it had anything to do with this station. By the time he came here, Albert already forgot it happened in L.A. and didn’t think to connect two dots.

“Yes, I was impressed too. It also can be very traumatic for the guy who was crushed by the fire truck. He lied there, isolated from everyone, stuck under unbearable weight while a bomber talked about sacrificing him for his own vendetta against me.”

Whatever Albert was going to say, he got rid of them all when he saw Bobby’s grim face. The young man only nodded in understanding.

“Has anyone seen Buck? I need his charger.” Hen looked around for her tall friend. “I thought he was with Chris but Chris is right there.” At the bakery table, with Ana.

“People were bugging him to be on the auction so I sent him to tidy the storage.”

In Albert’s defense, he really thought it implied Buck was going to stay hidden there for the rest of the charity. How would Albert know choosing to take a break after Chimney had bossed him all day by sneaking back up to their loft, planning to take the big couch could lead him to be walking on Buck in his private moment again. At least this time it was nothing sexual, however, Albert felt even worse for that.

Buck was sitting on a couch with head down. Both of his hands were covering his face and blocked Albert from the view. The loud, lively noises below were thick like a barrier that wouldn’t let those ragged panting reach other people but as Albert stood there almost reach the top of the staircase, he heard them.

As he was about to called out, a hand caught Albert’s shoulder. Eddie tightened the grip when Albert opened his mouth to talk, making the younger man shut up immediately. Apparently he took that as a sign to let go of Albert and walked to Buck. Watching Eddie sat on the armrest, Albert realized the guy intentionally used his own body to make sure Buck couldn’t see there was other person witnessing his anguish.

There was no other direction to go but back down. Albert took each step as soundless as possible.

For a puppy personification everyone talked about, the same one Albert had seen himself on the first day he met everyone at 118, Buck had so much sadness. He didn’t think the big puppy personality was fake or under pretense. He just sensed that the guy didn’t realize people who love him, either for his sunshine golden retriever characterization or even plainer than that, because Buck was Buck, wanted to be there for him when he was all rain and tears and wounded too.

When Buck came down with Eddie, he looked like a person who hadn’t been crying alone until his best friend talked to him twenty minutes ago. And he went up join the line of firefighters whom were to be put on the auction. Albert swore he saw two or three people ran outside the station to make a phone call then ran back with clear determination to bid for Buck.

“He’s in?” Hen voiced her confusion.

“Yes, he really wants to help raising the money.” Eddie answered without taking his eyes off Buck in the line, chatting animatedly with the probie named Anirudh.

“Damn, Anirudh looks so much happier. 10 minutes ago he looked like he was being sent to slaughter house.” Hen whistled, which, caused Albert to look again. This time he remembered Chimney mentioning that Hen was not the only gay member of this house.

“So Buck’s objectively hot?”

“Please, let it go already,” begged Chimney. “Eddie, my little brother has a sexual awakening because of your best friend. Do something.”

Eddie went still for seconds. “How come this is my responsibility? What did Buck do?”

“Ask the guy who suddenly finds him sexy without three days’ notice so I know when I should be out of town.” Chimney moved Albert to stand between him and Eddie.

Albert opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again.

“Hi, I’m bi.”

Hen cracked up.

-

“ _It’s not actually about the fire truck._ ”

He closed his eyes when a thumb reached to brush on his wet tear strains. “ _Then what’s it? Talk to me, Buck._ ”

“ _I sued the city. I sued Bobby._ ”

“ _Buck…_ ”

“ _Civilians might not know but I do. I don’t feel like I’m much of a community material, man. Some still think I’m a traitor to firefighter community._ ”

“ _There’s no way those’re your words. Who said that to you?_ ”

-

The charity ended without a hitch. Five branches of Starbuck won eight firefighters of 118, Buck included. They promised to go help at the shop on their next day off. Buck happily helped cleaning up the station with the others.

“Will you come, Buck?” Christopher pulled the hem of Buck’s uniform. “You promised last week you’d play _Planet Coaster_ with me soon.”

Buck crouched down. “I’d love to, buddy, but don’t you have a plan tonight with your dad and Ms. Flores?”

Right on the cue, Ana came to touch the boy’s shoulders. “He’s right, Chris. We’re going to this nice restaurant with really good pancakes.”

“Can Buck come too?” while asking, Christopher already took Buck’s hand.

“I can’t.” since Eddie and Ana seemed to be too stunted at the question, the blonde decided to deal with it for them. Christopher was not so fast to be angry at him anyway. “You see, Ms. Flores’s really nice and awesome but she and I are not really close. Sometimes when people go out together in a group, they want to do it with only people they’re familiar with. Sometimes we don’t mind that, but sometimes, like this time, it’s really important to your dad and Ms. Flores to be just them and you, okay?” Buck ruffled the boy’s hair. “And there’re times I so don’t want Ms. Flores to see me getting beat up by you and your father on _Street Fighter_.”

“How about tomorrow’s night? Buck can play the new game with you tomorrow,” negotiated with hope and dream, Albert could see his brother memorizing everything here just in case for his own baby girl.

Christopher finally gave in. “Okay. See you tomorrow, Bucky.” He went to hug around Buck’s neck. The man got up, lifting that small frame off the ground with a loud cheerful squeal coming from the boy.

“You have a really great friend, Edmundo.” Albert heard Ana.

Judging from a fading smile above Christopher’s shoulder, he was sure Buck heard it too.

-

He blurted out an hour later during the dinner at a restaurant nearby. It was just him, Chimney, and Hen because they all were too hungry to order take-away. “Holy shit, is Buck in love with Eddie?”

“I’m sorry, Chim, but now we have to kill your brother too.”

“Such a shame.”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'TOO'????”


	3. A Little Better Understanding

Fortunately, Hen and Chimney let him live.

“So you all knew???”

“I saw that coming way clearer than you suddenly wanting to get in Buckaroo’s pants.”

Albert groaned, Chimney too. “I don’t – I just – Maybe it’s the water he drinks. It turned him sexy. It’s not my fault.”

“Honey, I know he’s handsome fellow but you don’t see other people around him who’ve never been attracted to him in that way before developing a sexual awakening now,” cooed Hen. “Honestly, if it wasn’t you and Buck, it’d be kind of cute in some way. But you two ooze such a ‘Bros’ in a random college dorm, I’m surprised. When Buck’s with you, he looked like a big brother and I never saw him like that before. He’s never really been…authoritative.”

“Maybe I’m not having a crush on him? Maybe I just need to, how do you say it, like, when I’m interested with this woman I meet at a bar and we have sex and then we never see each other again but if I don’t have sex with her, I might think about her longer than usual?”

“You did not just suggest you want to fuck Buckaroo to get it out of the system in front of my chicken cutlets.” Chimney clapped both hands together and breathed tightly through the nose.

“Why would I want to do it in front of your dinner?” Albert asked back in disgust. Hen choked on her drink. They piled up napkins for her. “Okay, back to what I just asked. You guys already knew?”

“Honestly, the fact that you think you baby queer so used to heteronormativity would notice something like that before me.” Hen gave herself thirty seconds to feel the doneness.

“Het – what – do you mean Gaydar?”

The older woman snorted. “Jokingly, yes, but if you want to be serious I think it’s more about that I’m not trapped within the notion that guys only go for girls anymore after I knew who I am. I know it’s normal. It’s easier when you have a best friend.” She nudged the side of Chimney with her elbow teasingly. “Then you see people who are best friends but do things you’re so not doing with yours. No matter how much I love this man, I’m not going to look at Chimney like every touch and kiss he gives to someone else hurt me.”

“At first I thought it was like me when I learned that Hen’s going to med school but then I got over it,” added Chimney, pointing Hen with his thumb. “The moment I’m sure she’s not gonna leave us after becomes an ass-kicking doctor, I’m okay. Eddie dating shouldn’t make Buck that sad. Buck doesn’t have problem with Hen having a wife or Bobby marrying Athena. Then Hen said to me –”

“That Buck’s sad to the point he doesn’t talk about it. That boy’s more than an open book. He’s an audio book with auto-play. He speaks, he complains, he talks about everything. He doesn’t save face. He’s not ashamed or shy away from telling others when something make him happy or sad unless it makes him too sad, like the problems with his parents.”

“Does Buck know?”

“No. Look, I and Chim talked about this before we really knew what we were actually talking about. I can tell that Buck knows his feeling for Eddie now but since he hasn’t come out to anyone at the house, then we wait. We let him have his pace. If it involves his feeling for Eddie, we make sure no one’s messing with that too.” The determination on Hen’s face was borderline murderous. Albert eyed the knife on Hen’s smoked salmon plate warily.

Buck once said Hen teased but she was really protective of Chimney. “ _She almost tore my head off for Chim’s welcome back banner. She’s so scary, man. She can scare Bobby. Her other best friend is Athena. You don’t mess with Hen._ ”

“Then who else knows about this?” wonder Albert

The two firefighters glanced at each other then back at him. “Anirudh.”

-

All the way back to the apartment with Chimney who drove him there and also wanted coffee which he couldn’t have it without a heavy glare from his pregnant wife, Albert’s thoughts kept going back and forth between his recently change in understanding of sexuality, Buck being sad, whether or not he wanted to sleep with Buck and why now, and the fact that Buck being in love with Eddie was such a big secret but a guy who just started working at 118 knew.

Confusion mixed with curiosity doubled by him never really kept anything bottled up, combined with what he heard today during the auction, Albert blurted the moment he got the door opened. “Does Anirudh have a crush on you?”

Buck was in the apartment, as expected. “Um…no?”

There was no fucking way nor any rights for anyone to put the blame on him for not thinking there was a chance the probie dude himself would be standing there at the middle of Buck’s apartment, eyes wide.

Chimney banged his own head against the door frame with a _thud._ “You idiot.”

-

Albert did not sense awkwardness often unless it had to do with being caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to. He was confident, good at keeping the conversation go on, great at coming up with a reply.

This gotta be one of the most awkward coffee time he’d ever experienced. His Skype call with mother and father after he officially decided to stay here was not this uncomfortable. Chimney was pretending drinking Buck’s coffee at Buck’s kitchen island was his silent burden to bear without talking. Buck was pouring another cup for his guest, Anirudh, who came here in Buck’s jeep after they cleaned up the station because he wanted to borrow Buck’s books. Albert had his own coffee too but he didn’t want to drink it. He just wanted to stick with his half-brother after broadcasting a guy’s crush to said crush. If a look could kill, Anirudh would be charged for murder now.

Buck swatted Albert’s arm. “Hey, apologize to Anirudh.”

The probie hurriedly ceased the glaring. “Oh, no, it’s alright. I don’t mind. It’s nothing,”

Asking Buck was one thing, asking him when the person in question was entirely another thing. Albert learned it the very moment. “I’m sorry. I – I just know that I’m bi.”

“So he’s quite too eager to dive into it. Now he needs to see if other guys dig men too,” Chimney helped.

Anirudh reluctantly nodded. “Right, yeah, no harm done here. Well, I’m gay but…”

“Doesn’t mean he has to have a crush on me, man,” chided Buck.

“I know that now. Sorry. It’s just, you look a bit frustrated at the station when you talked to Buck so I…assumed?”

“Ah, yeah, I noticed that too. Maybe this is a chance for us to talk about it.”

Anirudh tensed. “Yes?”

“I know how I come off to many people, especially to newcomers. Hell, I was a jerk when Eddie just started here but I swear I never meant to make you uncomfortable or feel like you don’t belong here.” Buck looked down, fingers rubbing the back of his neck. “Derek saw me startling you last week, said I look a bit too intimidating and he said if this was the same as when Eddie joined, I should check my pattern or something. He mentioned about – you know – me being racist and all.”

Whoever Derek was, Albert swore Anirudh wanted nothing more than to go strangle that guy now.

“So I did some research but I haven’t really mentioned it to you yet but I really am sorry if I’ve ever acted like some white prick or be too cautious about me. You also don’t have to worry if I or anyone else pulls any shit, intentionally or not. You can always go straight to Bobby. He listens and doesn’t let shit like this fly. You can ask Hen.”

For how close they say, Albert sensed Chimney’s attempt with all his might to control himself. It was failing fast but the universe had mercy and it sent Buck a reminder that he forgot to get one of the book Anirudh asked for so the blonde excused himself to go grab it from upstairs

“ _Holy fuck_ ,” whispered Chimney.

“ _Chimney!_ ” Anirudh covered his face with both hands.

“ _Dude, you just got, like, social-issuezoned or something._ ”

“ _Don’t mock him. He’s so beautiful I want to cry right now_.”

“Well, maybe you’ll be too tired from the tears to kill my little brother.”

Anirudh immediately lowered his hands, eyes glaring at Albert. “No, I still have to kill him.”

“Stop threatening to murder me!” Albert said meekly then whispered “ _You really have a crush on him?_ ”

“ _He’s aesthetically pleasing, kind, and he doesn’t like_ Fight Club _for wrong reasons,”_ hissed Anirudh.

“ _But you also know he’s in love with Eddie_.”

“ _It’s not like I want to marry him or declare that he’s the love of my life. Yes, Eddie not available did me a favor like tonight but it’s not like I’m going to really do anything. It’s just that he happens to be my type. I like watching him doing…things_.”

“ _You mean working out._ ” Chimney made a loud slurping noise as he took another big gulp of coffee to cover their conversation when the oldest man saw Buck coming down. “Alright, I should get going. Thanks for coffee, Buckaroo.”

“If Maddie know, don’t tell me it’s mine.”

“No promises.” Chimney waved. “Anirudh, you wanna come? I can dropped you off.”

Anirudh was obviously torn between staying longer and taking the offer. His gaze fell on Albert. “Yes, thank you, Chimney.” The man took the books. “Thanks for the books, um, Buck.”

Albert also wanted to thank the Indian-American firefighter for not killing him but they should have that conversation when Buck was not in hearing length.

-

The devil works fast, whoever responsible for L.A. Starbuck twitter account worked faster. The new Starbuck’s advertisement, exclusive to only in their area, showed up on the internet not long after that. The ones featuring other firefighters turned out great. The colors, the tone, and the cozily friendliness in them reminded Albert of those study abroad ads. Some photos of Buck had fire truck story inserted to jog people’s memories of the first responder who was saved by the love from this city.

Judging from what Buck told Maddie on their video call; he hated it, Bobby hated it more, but the money to help local shops was worth it.

Albert lied on the bed in the guest room. He examined the photo on his own cellphone. It was a picture of Buck in his uniform sitting on a stairs, sipping from a paper cup with blurred Starbuck logo behind. A cat was napping on his lap and two little children drinking their smoothies as they looked up at him in awe. A disclaimer that the picture was permitted by LAFD for charity purpose and how much the brand donated in support of local business stamped at the corner. Its caption even stated that the cat belonged to one of the employees.

_Was it the legs?_ Did he find out he was bisexual because deep down he was a leg man? Albert knew his type in women but if he suddenly saw Buck sexy out of nowhere, maybe his type in men was not similar to women at all. Most of his sexual encounters and passionate relationship were with quite dominant women who loved to have fun both in sex and whatever they did outside of bed together. There were laughter, adventurous idea to chat or try, and fighting for dominance. Maybe with men, he got attracted to the idea of trembling –

(“ _I’m – not cute – fuck – Len – a –_ _Ah!_ ”)

_Right_ – He, somehow, found that kind of noise Buck made during _that_ , sexy as fuck. He couldn’t tell anyone he heard the guy having sex with a man because Buck asked him not to tell and he almost forgot how all this happened in the first place. It was so different from the blonde’s usual voice. The moaning, the trembling, the vulnerability, Albert had no idea people, actual people, especially men, could be like that during sex. It was not fun. It was raw and sensual.

To think that happened between Buck and his one night stand in the name of ‘teaching’ him how sex between men worked, Albert didn’t understand why he saw anything about that sexy.

More like scary.

Buck was also in love with a guy who didn’t teach him how to have sex with another dude because that guy was dating a woman. _Is Eddie even interested in men?_

“Albert, you alright? Sounds like you’re dying or something.” On the other side of the door, Buck knocked.

“I’m thinking!” _About the possibility of you and your best friend boning!_ Buck would either kick him out or be the third guy who wanted to kill him if he said that out loud.

“Alright, have fun giving yourself headache.”

It got even worse when Albert heard actual Eddie Diaz coming inside the apartment. His body went still on its first instinct even though none of them could see him.

“Made this with Carla today. Chris wants you to taste it as soon as possible.”

“Carla’s back?”

“Nope, on Zoom.” He heard chuckle in Eddie’s voice. “She watched every step. It’s edible.”

“If you say so.”

“He also saw the ads. You’ll go to the shop this Saturday, right?”

“They want me and Anirudh to guide costumers around and praise the shop for following every safety code.”

“Anirudh?”

“Yeah, the same branch bid for both me and him.”

“Will you be making those weird named drinks too?”

“I’ll not give you the satisfaction of seeing me breaking down. Their coffee machine looks too complicated!”

“So you admit you love seeing me wanting to tear down my own kitchen.”

“You burned and undercooked spaghetti at the same time.”

“Shut up! I don’t need to know how to perfect my pasta. I have you to save my kid from food poison anyway.”

Albert wondered if he didn’t know about Buck’s feeling for Eddie, would he still hear the hitch from him. Maybe not, since Eddie seemed to be totally unaware of it and the man right in front of Buck.

“I can’t wait to tell Bobby you think not burning spaghetti is enough to make perfect pasta.”

“Don’t you dare!”

“Where’s Chris now?”

“He’s with Ana.”

(“ _I’m nothing like Eddie. I’m so far from being anywhere close to Ana_ ”)

“Oh, right. They get along great, don’t they? Man, and you were so anxious about it.” Buck laughed.

“Shut up. I have every right to be. He ran away from home to you.”

“And now he loves her. You don’t have anything to worry about.”

“Not as much as he loves –”

“Hm?”

“Nothing. See you tomorrow.”

Albert sat up.

It was not a crush. He didn’t have a crush on Buck. He didn’t have a crush at all. Whatever it was that led him to know more about himself a week and half ago and noticed things about Buck more, it was not this. Not the repressed hurt and forced filled hollow in Buck’s voice. Not the interest that would make him giddy like Anirudh.

There was fear in this mystery though. He knew of that for sure. It also wasn’t just the fear of being this hurt if he ever fell for someone he couldn’t have. It was so much more and hard to comprehend.

Could be the fear of not knowing that someone who was so close to him, someone whom he’d run to and shield them from prying eyes because he was the one they could trust their sadness with, that someone, was in so much pain from heartache the moment he closed the door and walked away into other person’s arms. Yes, could be that kind of fear.

But Albert could only guess.


	4. Hurt

Days went by when Albert noticed something. “Huh, is Chris alright?” he looked across the apartment to Buck who was tidying up the fridge.

The pause of Buck’s movement was hard to miss. “Why do you ask?”

“It’s been a while since I saw him here.”

Buck closed the fridge with a sigh. “Yeah, you’re right. It’s been a while.”

-

“Is Buck acting weird to you?” Chimney asked him during their one-on-one basketball game. At this point the Hans internally admit their basketball time was also the Buckleys gossip time as well.

“Should he?” asked back Albert. He snatched the ball from Chimney but they stayed where they stood. Not really into the game.

“I think he and Eddie has a fight but it’s just my feeling. Heard Diaz blowing Buck off three times in five days and I’m telling you that’s weird. If Eddie has a plan with someone or his girlfriend, he always gladly let Buck hang around with his kid.”

Albert bounced the ball. “A fight?”

“Or something. It bothers me because Buck doesn’t talk about anything at all. He talked almost immediately when he found out about his brother. These days he just…not talking. Bobby’s freaking out.”

That would explain why Bobby stopped by the apartment yesterday with multiple food containers. The Captain barely able to hide his disappointment when Albert told him Buck was out running. Buck ran a lot lately. Albert was getting his sexuality discovery slash crisis plus not a crush over. Buck just jogged.

-

Despite what others thought, Albert had friends outside of his half-brother’s circle and he didn’t have sexual history with those friends. Most were from bars he had gone after starting a life here. They kept in touch even with the pandemic closing all the bars for unpredictable period. At first it was weird because before this, Albert never met them in daylight. Some lost their jobs. Some worked from home. Whatever each of their situation ended up like, it resulted in them chatting a lot during daytime. Without them, Albert believed he would have found out about this much later.

He was washing dishes when one of his friends sent a link into their Discord channel with a mention of Albert’s handle.

_Isn’t this your roommate?_

Albert clicked on the link. It was a tweet with four pictures attached. The caption gave the entire context, about the firefighters at Starbuck for charity campaign and a textual squealing for how cute that one of the firefighter was gay and surprised at the coffee shop by his boyfriend.

Except, the firefighter was Buck and this boyfriend in the picture, even Albert could see only the back of that man, he still could tell by those hair and the glimpse of cheekbone that it belonged to Len. Len was kissing Buck in that picture, amid surprised and cheering crowd. They postures were a bit awkward. Buck arms were leaving his sides as if he was startled from being pulled into a sudden kiss. Len’s right hand was on Buck’s neck in every photo while his left hand was hidden at first but moved to the side of his hip in the next picture as he must have dragged the blonde closer to deepen the kiss. Judging from the comment, these awkward hands movement made it even more sincere and gained more awes Its timestamp was two hours ago. Anirudh was also in the picture, looking at what was unfolding from the corner, like, literally corner because that where he was in this picture.

Other guys in the channel sent _Holy fuck, it’s like straight from porn._ One even asked if the boyfriend did porn. _Is this even NSFW bc I’m still technically at work._

_Bitch you were watching porn while asking me to help with your work yesterday_ followed by everyone reacting with various emoticons under it.

_I didn’t even know they’re dating but I think Buck mentioned he’s a fireman too._

_Pretty sure they hoard them for calendars._ The rest was them making joke about weirdest theme for calendar they’ve ever seen until one of them steered the subject right back to that tweet with _I scrolled to read the replies and now I feel bad._

_What do you mean?_

Albert clicked another link sent. It was one of the tweets under the first one.

**Famigan | Theo** @Theofarnfran25 ∙ 45m

@LimonyLa1ba The firefighter got splashed with hot coffee right after this. THIS IS FUCKING HATE CRIME WHAT’S WRONG WITH PEOPLE???????

Albert called Chimney as soon as he finally comprehended what the tweet meant.

-

It was Bobby who brought Buck home. His left eye and both hands were wrapped with gauze. The skin around the rim of white bandages appeared reddish too. Albert helped Bobby got Buck upstairs when the blonde stated his only need was to sleep.

The door swung open in urgency while Albert was watching Bobby managed foods onto the table for Buck to reheat them when the youngest firefighter wanted. They both snapped their attention to the entrance and saw Eddie. His hair was plastered to his forehead because of sweat, like the man had run from somewhere not close and too many stairs to this place.

“How’s he?”

Bobby told Eddie to lower the voice before anything. “He’s fine now. Already took Aleve. He’s asleep now.”

“What actually happened?”

“Athena said the cops already caught two guys who threw the coffee at him. They claimed it was an accident, said they were just joking with each other but one of them pushed the other too hard. Witnesses said they did it on purpose but the angle of the camera was…it was not helpful.”

“Why would they do that in the first place?”

“It’s hate crime! I saw people talked on Twitter.” Albert pulled out his phone as he chipped in, showing Eddie and Bobby the tweet. Eddie squinted, looking a bit distracted.

“What are they talking about – what?” He took Albert’s phone to scroll up and down himself. Albert watched Eddie tapping on those four pictures.

Then a furious glint flashed in Eddie’s eyes. “Who’s this?”

“Buck said he was his friend but he left the shop before the incident,” replied Bobby.

“His name’s Len. Buck said they met at a bar.”

The way Eddie’s attention snapped from Bobby to him terrified Albert. “You know this guy?”

“Yes, I met him…here weeks ago.”

He didn’t expect Eddie to grab his arm tight. “I’m borrowing Albert. Come with me.” The older man dragged him through the opened ajar door before Bobby could answer anything but telling Albert to not forget his mask.

“Eddie – eddie – slow down!” yelled the dragged man. Eddie didn’t even want to wait for elevator. He just pulled Albert along down the stairs until they were outside the building. Albert almost lost balance when they abruptly stopped for Eddie to call a cab. “Where are we going?”

“To the bar.” Eddie’s voice was dark with anger. “There’s only one bar Buck knows of that already reopened.”

“Oh,” exclaimed softly, Albert frowned. “And why are we going there now?”

“Because I want to kill this prick and if he’s really at the bar, you can point him for me.”

“Is that exaggeration or murder legal here?!”

Eddie pushed him into a taxi without answering.

-

They did arrive at the bar. Eddie was fuming Albert didn’t dare to speak all the way here. The bar was big but not loud. People were eating snacks more than drinking. Albert prayed Len was not here.

“Hey, you, Albert right?”

He was fucking here.

Albert blinked. He looked at Len, handsome Len, then he looked at Eddie, then his mouth decided everything for the evening.

“Eddie, this is him.”

“Hi, I’m Eddie,” Eddie grabbed Len’s hand under a pretense of greeting. Albert watch with wide eyes as Len’s face twisted in pain. “Can we talk because I fucking know you and your friends did some shit to Buck?”

“What – I don’t --”

Eddie’s voice went quieter, lower, colder, “You fucking know what I’m talking about, you bastard. I saw the photos. Your hand was signaling your friend wasn’t it? That was a signal for infantryman to commence fire. You used to be a soldier, didn’t you? Well, so did I. Can we go talk outside now?”

Albert had to back away and opened up those photos again. “ _This?_ ” He looked at the hand, palm down by the man’s hip. Some other thing hit Albert. “Come to think about it. Why the hell you kissed him like that?”

“What can I say? I miss him too much – _fuck!_ ”

The grip on Len’s hand must be beyond Albert’s imagination to cause a man to swear like that. Eddie face was lack of emotion but it was all there, clear as a day, in his voice as he repeated his _wish_.

“Outside. Now.”

-

Eddie was terrifying. Albert had learned of that now.


	5. Those Who Love You the Most Need More Time to Grow

“You can’t seriously believe it’ll prove anything,” challenged Len.

Albert was reluctantly standing in front of a dark alley between the bar and some big building that all lights already turned off. Eddie and Len went a bit further from the main street and pedestrians which made Albert feel like he was a watchman or something.

“It doesn’t need to prove anything. I only need that to know who responsible for my friend’s burns.”

“To what, punch me?”

“I can do that.” Albert watched Eddie took one step closer to Len. “Or I can show up in front of you, remember your face, and drill it in your head that after today, I’m going to ask around. Let’s start with 136 shall we? Let’s find out how many people have you used because that shit you did to Buck? There’s no fucking way it’s a first time or by impulse. You intentionally outed Buck. You have no respect for your community. Maybe if I get enough people to file complaint about your behaviors, it’ll prove so many things.”

“You don’t know that.” Len’s voice didn’t sound too certain.

“I know people like you. You can’t be that naïve thinking there’s a single soul joining army and left without learning a thing or two about shitty pattern shitty pricks have especially when they have advantages. The only thing I don’t know is why but I don’t give a fuck.” _And_ Eddie had the guts to stretch his arms like they were in a park readying themselves for a morning run. “So what’ll it be, me haunting your lame ass until you drop or you might try scaring me shitless I might rethink going after you?”

For a moment Albert thought Len was really considering his options but before the young man finished processing the situation, Len just threw a punch.

Judging by how smooth Eddie caught it, he, unlike Albert, expected that. “Nice choice, save us time,” whistled Eddie.

The rest was a new nightmare for Albert.

-

“Please tell me you didn’t kill him and make me your accomplice.”

“Which part worries you more?”

“Both!”

-

They had to find a public toilet for Eddie to watch his bloody knuckles. Albert didn’t think he could climb down from full panic tonight. He was even too afraid to be too close to the ex-soldier, the guy who, according to his brother, cried when he was tripping and, according to Buck, scared of Hildy. This guy was the same guy who, ten minutes ago, beat another person to a pulp and left with only one bruised when Len tried to fight back and bruised hands. Albert almost screamed when Eddie hauled Len up then threw the man against the wall. Those noises were so unlike what he’d heard from action movies.

Now Eddie just casually dried his hands. “Don’t tell anyone. I’ll deal with Bobby myself.”

“Are you sure it’s alright to leave him there?”

“Yes,” Eddie replied without a beat. “I made sure of that. Albert, I almost lost my job for street fight. I’m not going to risk that for this asshole.”

“But didn’t you already risk it?”

“He hurt Buck.”

It was said with such finality Albert never knew existed. Eddie looked him straight in the eye as if Albert had such a nerve not understand. It got the younger man confused to the point he forgot his fear long enough to slip “Well, you hurt Buck too and I didn’t see you get all this homicidal,” then the fear returned home. “Of course you didn’t do it like Len. Please don’t kill me. I’m sure yours is unintentional.”

“No, you’re right.”

“I mean we don’t really need to know why, right. It’s clear that – wait, what? I’m right?”

Eddie looked away. “You’re right. I hurt him,” he breathed it in tiredly. “I hurt Buck too because I was selfish. He doesn’t deserve any of this.”

Albert read all the regrets on Eddie’s face. With hesitation, he started. “Why are you so sure about Len? You didn’t even know about him before. I know of him and those pictures told me nothing.”

“I know Buck.”

At first, Eddie seemed like he didn’t really want to elaborate but changed his mind seconds later. Like he realized he didn’t have the right to use that reason and be done with it.

“Buck closed his eyes in the last picture,” explained Eddie. “That’s not how you react when a stranger kisses you, especially not Buck. He doesn’t even let strangers get too close physically, not during a pandemic. Back during the lockdown when we bunked together at his apartment, you’d think the strictest one to hand washing and clean clothes should be the paramedics but it was Buck. He was so scared for everyone because what if we had emergency that needed us back home? Now he’s even more careful because he can meet Chris again, even when I don’t let him.”

“Yeah, you don’t,” agreed Albert. “Chimney said you guys had a fight.”

“We didn’t.”

“Then what happened?”

Eddie refused to tell. It took the ride home for Albert to understand that it was because he was not the one who deserved to hear Eddie’s explanation, at least not the first one. That was Buck.

-

Bobby was waiting for them, or just watching over Buck until someone finally came back. One single glance at Eddie even though the man hid both hands inside his pockets, the Captain murmured “Do we need to talk in my office tomorrow, Diaz?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

Bobby let it go. “See you at work.”

As soon as the door closed, Eddie took off the jacket and washed his hands more before going upstairs to check on Buck. His footsteps even without shoes somehow echoed the room. Albert’s gaze followed Eddie until he decided to steal some of Bobby’s food and go to bed.

One or two bites away from dozing off, Albert heard movements outside the room. The weights of two people walked down the stairs with one of them more of stomping than just walking. “ _You don’t – you don’t get to do this. No._ ” It was Buck’s voice.

“ _I know._ ”

“ _I didn’t do anything wrong. Not this time. I didn’t._ ”

Albert put away the container on his lap like it would help him hear them clearer, but at the same time, the crack in Buck’s voice stopped him from moving closer to the door. He stayed there, letting whatever going on the other side of his temporary bedroom door seeped in like a flood.

“ _I was there. I’m there. I promised him I’m not going anywhere._ ”

“ _I’m sorry._ ”

If someone told him a man who uttered such a guilty tone was the same one who punched another guy red and purple, Albert would have a hard time buying it.

“ _I gladly babysit him for you whenever because spending time with him is one of the best thing outside 118. I keep my mouth shut about what I think, that lately you only leave him with me when you want to be alone with your girlfriend but when you want to play family with her, you blow me off like my time with him and you doesn’t matter._ _Now it hurts even more because you won’t let me see Chris._ _You, who was so angry when I wasn’t there for him._ ”

“ _I’m sorry._ ”

“ _Why are you even here, Eddie? Where’s Chris? Where’s Ana?_ _Aren’t you supposed to be with her?_ ”

“ _I asked Hen to watch him after I heard from Chim about you._ ” Albert then heard a movement, like someone tried to walk but was stopped by the other. “ _I’m sorry, Buck, I’m so sorry. I was being a selfish prick. Chris – I blamed you again because Chris doesn’t seem to be taking it in that Ana’s my girlfriend. He doesn’t want to see her as much as he wants to see you. I blamed it on him getting too attached to you so I tried to make him spend more time with her and less with you._ ”

Albert almost jumped when something, or someone, bumped against his room’s door.

“ _Then leave._ ”

“ _Buck, no._ ”

“ _I’m always your first choice to cut off when you have a problem anyway._ ”

“ _No, it’s not like that._ ”

“ _I love you, Eddie,_ ” said Buck. “ _Go be with your girlfriend. I’m tired._ ”

“ _Buck_ ”

“ _Either you get out or I will_.”

He could picture tears streaming down his roommate’s face just from the broken quiet voice.

“ _I’m sorry._ ”

The door opened and closed.

Then Buck cried. Albert did not understand it himself. This was something he found scary the moment he witnessed it raw and he didn’t think he wanted to be near it anytime soon.

Yet, he wanted so bad to get out, tell the sobbing friend that the guy who just left loved his friend back; just wait for him.

**Author's Note:**

> I think I just want to write Albert being good bro to Buck more than what's showed on screen. But then I think about how young Albert is which was almost the same age I realized I'm biromantic so I want to picture him trying to sorting his feelings of 'is this me breaking free from toxic masculinity to appreciate hot guys or am I also attracted to the idea of feeling attracted to people of same sex?'. And the misunderstanding continues longer than I expect that it becomes multi chapter.
> 
> I also want to write about Buddie but the build up to them is so hard especially after 4x08 all I see is silently heartbroken Buck so, yeah, this.


End file.
